So Few Candidates, So Much Time

FACTOID:

In l953 President Eisenhower changed the name of the ultra secret presidential retreat then known as Shangri La, (a name that Pres Roosevelt selected when it was first built in 1942 in the Catoctin Mountain Park 70 miles from Washington DC to Camp David.) When Pres Eisenhower changed the name to Camp David after his grandson he was queried as to why he didn't name it after his son he replied, "Somehow Camp Dwight Junior seems a bit to much like a girly man."

John Edwards withdrew yesterday. So much to talk about. I miss Bill Richardson and Dennis Kucinich and I’ll miss John Edwards. Or I’ll miss his civility. Oh, and Rudy Guiliani also dropped out, but I won’t miss anything about him. Back to John. He was the foam in a sea of ... OK I’m at a loss for what else is in the water. I know there is pollution, and sand, a few fish, and coral—but none works as an illustration of what I want to say. I guess I could take the fish route and say he was a guppy in a school of sharks but that would be overstating. He was more than a small fish in a big expensive swimming pool—although neither of the other candidates wanted him cluttering up the water. So maybe I should go for the coral... Nevermind, I’m starting to sound desperate. Anyway, he’s out of the race and I’m sure the phone calls to his supporters were ongoing and relentless.


I spoke to my mother today, she is an avid Clinton supporter. She was happy that John Edwards was out of the race and she wondered why Bill Clinton couldn’t be the Vice President. “Don’t you think that would be nice for the Clinton’s? Then he won’t feel bad about not being the President.” I tried to explain why that wouldn’t work and then I thought, well if Bill spent quality time trying to change the Constitution, maybe it would keep him out of the campaign. Then a friend said, he could be the Vice President, if Hillary asked him to run. So then, for absolutely no reason, I flashed back to last week when my mother and her twin were together. Aunt Peppy went out to Seattle to see Mom. They were thrilled to see one another and then after about ten minutes they started to fight—it’s what they do. My brother called to say the good news was that they didn’t kill each other –which would have been my preference because then, after long and happy lives, they could have gone together doing what they loved doing the most—having a good fight. Kind of like “Second Hand Lions” when the 92 year old former adventurer brothers built a plane and flew it into their barn—upside down. Anyway, I thought, changing the Constitution would be easier then getting Hillary to agree that Bill should be the Vice President.
Back to the campaigns. Guiliani appeared with McCain tonight and gave him an in person endorsement adding that he would go wherever McCain wanted him to go – unless it became a problem. I guess he was referring to all those questions of appointments and spending. Isn’t it funny that McCain, an honorable person, would want to be endorsed by a person of questionable character. And I don’t get it since about 6 people in the entire US were going to vote for Rudy. But since McCain admits he knows very little about the economy, he probably thinks “it’s not the economy stupid, it’s about the power.”

And speaking of stupid, it is outrageous that the media have seemingly selected Clinton and McCain as the nominees. Maybe I’m missing something but I thought there were other Primaries. In addition, the media didn’t do very well with their predictions in Iowa, New Hampshire or South Carolina – so what makes them think they know any better now. This is a game of “will young people and independents vote?” If they do, Obama and Romney may do very well. If they don’t then “it’s about the stupid, stupid.”

Iris

Actors and Politicians

Question:
What is the difference between actors and politicians.
a. Paparazzi chase their subjects.
b. Politicians chase the paparazzi.
c. Paparazzi are issued restraining orders.
d. Politicians pray to God someone cares enough to take a picture.

Factoid:
A highly regarded independent auditing company has concluded that after extensive research, the amount of money spent for cosmetics, hair stylists, make-up people and wardrobe is almost the same whether the candidate is a man or a woman. One exception is their undergarments, male candidates spend much more! Go figure?


Once again in Florida “It’s the economy stupid.” Yes that’s true as the final votes were tallied, in this kaleidoscopic state where voters never make up their minds on who to vote for until they have left the voting booths. That remains the primary reason that exit pollsters have abandoned the standard, who did you vote for, and replaced it with, “what’s your favorite form of gambling?”

Average voter turnout for presidential primaries in Florida since 1972 has averaged 38 percent, that year there was an all-time record of 58 percent. Yesterday's turnout was slightly above 25 percent. And that was a surprise because polls taken early on indicated that possibly only five to eight percent where projected to show up at the polls. This set an all time low and only reinforced the fact that Florida is becoming a very self-centered state concerned only with the weather and, you can’t vote for what you want, so why go.

Here is some background on what why there was record for turnout in l972. That was the year that an amendment was attached to allow gambling on jai a·lai (pronounced HI-LIE), a game derived from pelota: a Latin American game similar to handball, played with baskets fastened to the arm for catching and throwing the ball. Here in sunshine land that game is also used as a tie breaker when deciding any winners in local politics. Only then it’s call jai a.tie. Yeah, I know you don’t think that a real game but only if you don’t live in Florida.

OK back to yesterday. Florida didn’t want to it appear that they didn’t care about the presidential primaries (after all there was no reason for Democrats to vote once the Democratic candidates took a pledge not to campaign in the state). Then Governor came up with a novel, but well thought out inducement to get voters to the polls. An amendment was added that would double the property tax homestead exemption for primary homeowners. This could save home owners a lot of money, except since the housing crisis, Florida homes are only worth half of what they used to be. Since the savings would only amount to a few dollars, it didn’t seem worthwhile to bring the voters after all. So one more amendment was added, but only for Miami-Dade County. Which by the way accounts for one third of our states population. This additional referendum was to add slot machines at Miami Jai-Alai and Calder Race Course Horse Track! And WOW did it work. Both measures passed by an average of over sixty-eight percent of the vote. Note: Now you know just how important the game of HI-LIE is to us.

Locally here in Key West our newly elected Mayor stated that the lost revenue from the property taxes would have a definite impact on our local services. He went on to target make sure school bus drivers and law enforcement agencies would take the biggest hit. Some children will now have to walk to school and he’s asking for volunteers to become mobile crossing guards. He will also fire one in every six police officers. Those officers removed will primarily come from our undercover T-Shirt Ordinance Compliance even know just how integral a part of our state HI-LIE is?
Clay

Today's Youth?

Question:

If you were trying to get young people to vote what would you promise them:
a. Good health care or rather good drugs
b. Permanent seats on Saturday Night Live and a big kiss from Andy Samberg.
c. Never to wake them before 2pm
d. A limousine ride to the poll of their choice
e. A U-tube appearance... oh never mind, anyone can do that.
f. Never to make any promises.



I have a hard time trying to figure out just who they are. I mean like I’m in my late sixties so in reality I can use that phrase when referring to anyone in their fifties. Or at least that’s the way I look at it.

If a candidate is going to target a group hereby classified as ‘Today’s Youth’ has anyone tried to figure out just what group it is. Let’s see, one group could be those between the ages of 18-20, I’ll call that group the not legal drinking age group, 21-30 looking for a job group, 31-45 employed and moving back home group, 45-54 taking care of parents group, 55- ? Faith based group praying to win the lottery and live another year group.

OK, now that I have established that let me talk about the media. If I had to group them I guess the best I could do is classify as them as the ‘Let’s Keep them Drooling Group’! Yes I do believe that is their intent. And what effect does that have on the above named groups? I can only refer to my visit yesterday at our local Dunk’n Donuts coffee shop. I seldom go there anymore because here in Key West they only hire illegal employee’s from the Eastern Europe countries. I guess the management think they look more American than other of the illegal persuasion. That is until they speak and then you know because their ability to use the English language is limited to, Yes, Thank You, Have a nice day. Tourist love it until they ask for something difficult like a low fat donut with a side of cream cheese.

Anyway there I stood in line listening to several of “ Today’s Youth” discussing who is going to be our next President. At first I was really listening but it seemed there was a lot of redundancy in the words I was hearing. Obama, Clinton, Clinton, Obama, etc, And to tell you the truth it was a rather rollicking and intellectual exchange of views. I almost began to wish that the girl at the counter would forget how to pour coffee which would give me a chance to join in the conversation. I was formulating some kind of awesome statement I could inject and become of the focus of this impromptu coffee klatch. I almost had it nailed when someone said, “Well, we’ll all know who is going to our next President when night falls on Super Tuesday.” And it was then that I realized that the entire group of “Today’s Youth” were talking as though our next Presidential choice would only be Obama or Clinton.

Now if you’re confused about what I’m writing let me make it perfectly clear.

Not one of them were talking about the Republican Party’s nominee. They were talking as though it was going to be America’s choice but it didn’t include two parties. There never was a mention or even a consideration that there was another party involved. They were so caught up in the massive media coverage that they talked like the primaries were actually the general election. It seems as though the Republican Party disappeared in a blaze of breaking news once Teddy told us how to vote.

I began to wonder when was the last time a party conceded the election before the election. At this point I wanted to ask the group, Does anyone think McCain or Romney would make a good President or even Vice-President? But if I had asked, I’d probably have been shoved to the back of the line. So here we are. We have become, thanks to the media, a one party nation. And in Florida, the Democratic Primary doesn’t even count. I think the best thing for the Republican Party to do is donate all the monies left in their campaign chest to the AARP. However, since I firmly believe in the (at least) two party system and equal representation to the public, I’m going to send a letter to the Mardi Gras Committee in New Orleans suggesting they select John McCain to be their next Grand Marshall. He at least deserves that.
Clay

A Huge Event--Not Only in Size

Question:

You can't be everywhere as a Presidential candidate. What do you look for in your surrogates? Choose from the following.
a. Someone who is deaf and dumb and needs to depend on a signer, who you will control.
b. The spouse of a former opponent who will be satisfied with a shopping trip as a thank you.
c. Someone who looks great, smiles constantly and will stick to any script you write.
d. A convicted felon. Someone who you can say you inspired back to good citizenship.
e. A really cute 19 year old, who indicates that they will have sex with anyone who votes, other than the candidate.


We stood in the cold for 40 minutes lined up at a machine that took (no joke) 4 minutes per person to pay to for parking. There were at least 20 people in front of us and twice that amount behind. We discovered there was another machine across the parking lot, but that one had twice the line as ours. “OK, no more of that”, I said to Kat, “I don’t wait in any more lines.” She agreed, confiding that she could no longer feel her toes.

Kat attended American University and I was a Professor there a few years ago, so we knew how to navigate the campus, and indeed, found our way through the Mary Gradon Center and in the back door of the Bender Arena, where we slid through a large crowd of screaming students and found ourselves in the center of the event. But we were credentialed as press, and preferred to be in that area, so a nice volunteer directed us in through the back of the arena without any hassle. That whole process took six minutes. We did stop by the press credentialing table to say we inadvertently forgot to pick up our credentials, and they gave them to us without any fuss. I love credentials. As I have always said, if you look like you know where you’re going, people will think that’s the case. About five minutes later, we discovered they were closing the working press area with 200 press people waiting in the actual press line. They were not happy press. Unfortunately, those decisions are made by the fire marshals and the public safety people and there were already too many real people inside—it’s just a numbers game with no room for negotiations.

The program opened with an a cappella group singing 60’s songs into a bad mike --which made me a bit nervous about the rest of the event because I did want to hear what the Principles were going to say. The room was set up with the podium in the middle of the arena so that the speeches would be made facing the media and the crowd was placed on the other three sides. The press area was vast. I guess because there were so many people left outside there was an amazing amount of empty space. Even with the 16 tables, and chairs (a nice touch) the press area was not crowded. I thought it was fine because I could stand on a chair and actually see what was going on. (Yes, it is all about me). Space is something that never happens at a crowded political event.

After about an hour of entertainment. a female student made her way up to the suddenly repaired microphone to introduce the talent. “Today’s youth”, she said “ will join together to elect the next President”. Then she introduced Patrick Kennedy, Caroline Kennedy, Teddy Kennedy and Barack Obama. Patrick spoke first and reminded us that Teddy Kennedy was instrumental in lowering the voting age to 18. He introduced Caroline, who spoke briefly about how her children thought Obama would be able to change the country, and of course, about how she also believed Obama was a candidate like her Dad, who had the ability to inspire young people to make a difference. Then she introduced Teddy, who, when he is good is really good -- and he was.

His rhetoric was brilliant and targeted. He used phrases to describe Obama’s ability like, “not diminishing the hopes of the hopeful” , “lifting our spirits and making us believe again”. He said Obama had the “power to make America good again” . He referred to Martin Luther King’s “fierce urgency of now”, and how Obama would refuse to be trapped in the past. He talked about how impressed he was by Obama’s desire to bring the country together and referred to the the speech when Barack said, “we must no longer be red states and blue states, we must be The United States. He also took a couple of hits out on Bill Clinton by saying Obama would win without “demonizing those who hold different views”, but he confessed that he would support whomever the public determined should be the Democratic candidate. The words and sentiments were familiar but the magnitude of the event truly left me breathless. I think the fact that it was shaped around a time when there was hope and the determination to look at the future in a positive way, moved this cynic tremendously.

In direct opposition to a positive vision for the future, what was John McCain thinking when he gave that “there will be war, more wars, many wars, wars to end all wars, breakfast lunch and dinner wars, speech yesterday. Did I miss something? Isn’t this election about finding a leader who will take us out of war. One who will ‘lead’ the nations to a peaceful and diplomatically negotiated future. It’s bad enough that he is cheerleading for the Iraq war. Who wants a guy that says was is inevitable that we will be in many more wars. Doesn’t he get it. It’s the economy, stupid.
Iris

Depending on Who's Writing the Story

Question: What alternate plans have been put in place to make certain a Presidential inauguration will be conducted if there is serious terrorist threat?
Choose from the following:

a. Have the ceremony performed in a hidden safe house out in Utah and simulcast on U-Tube. In addition there should be a 10 second delay, just in case there has to be a re-take.
b. Perform the ceremony aboard Air Force One, flying at 40,000 feet only aliens will be able to get to the plane. It's been done before you know.
c. Pull all the body armor out of Iraq and have all participants fully protected. Note: The weight of full body armor exceeds 80 pounds so it will be necessary to have escorts, We would suggest Marines.
d. Declare martial law and have all law enforcement agencies arrest and remove anyone who isn’t smiling—or even looks like they might be having a bad thought.

Depending on who’s writing the story, Obama won in South Carolina because Black people voted for him 2 to 1. But that’s not the real story. What is really important to those of us who have been trying to get kids to vote is that the turn out of young people was twice what it was four years ago and that the vote among young people was close to 2 to 1 in that category as well. It’s easy to write off a Southern State because one of the candidates is Black. But does that mean that our first Black President – who spent the last week in South Carolina campaigning for his wife without making race an issue (not), might not have the kind of power with this constituency that everyone thought he had. Or, as one of my not to be mentioned friends suggested, maybe the same thing is happening with young black voters that is happening with young white voters. Maybe the older Baptist preachers, like the older organization women, don’t have the ear of t young voters.

Here’s the other incredible news. Remember when the Clinton's said that Obama was no Martin Luther King or John F Kennedy, well tomorrow President Kennedy’s daughter and his brother Ted, are endorsing Barack. This is huge. In addition, the Jose Mercury News and Xavier Bacerra, former chair of the Hispanic Caucus also endorsed. Again it’s easy to dismiss Teddy as just another incredibly important liberals. But no one can dismiss Caroline. She knew her father. She has been carries the Kennedy legacy. She is part of an important political dynasty and she has decided not to endorse a Clinton dynasty. And maybe she, like Senator McCaskill will say, it’s not that I don’t want Clinton... it’s just that I do want Obama. I love this election. Not because of a preference for a candidate, but because it actually may be an election—a real race. When was the last time that happened?

Depending on whose writing the story about the South Carolina Primary is one about Obama’s victory speech, which got back to his message about hope—although I think he needs to get rid of all those stupid “change” signs and just keep talking about hope. Or it’s a story about Hillary in Tennessee hardly spending a minute and a half on the results of South Carolina. I watched her speech, which was not easy because after about three minutes most of the cable stations dissed her and went back to the South Carolina coverage. But I wanted to hear her say something gracious about Obama and Edwards and it just didn’t happen. So I guess if you are writing with a Hilary perspective you say, “she knew she was going to lose so she needed to take the opportunity to talk about the future.” I guess that works. But if you are writing from an Obama perspective, you say, “She not only lost, but she lost 2-1. That’s not only a defeat, it’s a sign, a signal about where the election is going.”

I am not ready to make a judgment about who said what about whom and whether it was politic. But I can say that, just as the media was responsible for Hillary’s win in New Hampshire, Bill Clinton was responsible for her loss. You can argue with me about this but I took yet another anecdotal survey and people who were hard core Hillary supporters are so angry at Bill that they don’t want him back in the White House. They do not buy the “he made this a race issue” and his conversation is “fairy tale”. How stupid does he think the public is? Obama did not play the race card. Bill held that hand and used it in a rhetorically brilliant way -- but it was dishonest.

When I was completing my Master’s degree in Rhetorical theory, we studied all the most effective rhetorical techniques, among which were use of repetition and turning the argument around so it would appear that the opponent said what you were actually saying. And that’s what Bill Clinton did. Read what he said. In addition, it is always a good idea to blame the messenger, in this case the media, and admonish them for something they did not do. The “Shame on you” in the CNN interview was wonderful. People hate the media and when someone actually accuses them of being unfair or even worse, biased, it’s the rhetorical ploy of asking them to look at themselves and be sorry, is likely to work. But it didn’t work in this case because there was no basis in fact. So rather than hanging their heads in shame, the media said “What the hell is he talking about”, and proceeded to cover the facts in the story – which were Hillary was playing catch up and Barack was confident and comfortable with his campaign.

So depending on who’s writing the story, you can feel Hillary was right to move on and look at the States to come. February 5th could be a turning point for any of the three Dems and three Repubs. Or you might say Hillary needed to acknowledge the Barack win before she dismissed it—and Bill dismissed it as inconsequential. Again I have no predictions other than Mitt, but I think that if Hillary is the candidate of change, she may need to start to change. That will require a conversation with people Chelsea’s age. At the very least it will require a conversation with someone who has not protected and insulated her from the reality—she is in a real race, whoever is writing the story.
Iris

Commaderess in Chief?

Question:

Since it's inception there have been 3,461 Medals of Honor awarded. How many Commanders in Chief have been awarded that distinction?
a. None of course, no Commander in Chief has ever heard a shot fired in anger.
b. All of course, they need to have something to wear on their lapels.

Note: One Commander in Chief was nominated for performing a successful landing on an aircraft carrier but it was determined that he actually wasn't the pilot, therefore the application was denied.

Factoid: There was an assault on the White House back in the fifties but the Commander in Chief was in Missouri taking piano lessons.


Every time I watch the debates I think, Is Commander in Chief politically correct in all cases or should it be Commanderess in Chief?
In every military organization there are prominently displayed framed pictures of the soldiers chain of command. It starts with the immediate commander and ends with the Commander in Chief. All of these pictures show stern and "follow-me" images. I was always amused that the Commander in Chief was never in uniform. Now I'm beginning to wonder how that display will look if we had a woman as Commander in Chief, or would she be called Commanderess in Chief.

If a “People” photographer was commissioned to take that picture I can only imagine that he would have her dressed in some kind of thigh high combat boots, short khaki skirt and a headband with stars on it. Which brings us to a totally different only somewhat related subject, Why do Presidential Candidates solicit veterans organizations for votes? I have done my own anecdotal survey. That’s when you ‘dote’ really know what you’re doing, and I have concluded that the candidates draw such large veterans audiences, not to show support; but instead, they are going there to see what a commander in chief looks like. It's similar to the crowds at a "Bigfoot" seminar. A lot of people believe there is such a thing as a Bigfoot but have I don’t know anyone who has ever seen one. Not me for sure.

Just once I'd like to see a candidate do a take off of the opening scene in Patton. You know, big flag, lots of make-up, pistols at the ready and screaming, “I need you to go out there and kill my enemies”. Notice I said, my enemies not our enemies. Reflecting on that I must say that I never thought I was fighting for my Commander in Chief, more like fighting to save my ass. Along that note being a wannabe writer I now question why I never sent my Commander in Chief (CIC) a thank you letter for leading me into Ah Shau Valley back in l968, or Cambodia back in l970. And let’s not forget all those woman that served in uniform. Perhaps there should be woman only rallies.

Never mind, I’ve rethought the rally thing and if I were a candidate looking to make an impact, I wouldn’t impersonate Patton, but rather a shirtless Putin. At least Putin has created quite a stir in recharging Russia. But back to the serious side of the military. Soldiers only relate to those "Follow Me" stereotypes to become CIC's. They may applaud, hoot and holler at rallies but once they leave the auditorium they walk directly to the VA and start filing disability claims., because they were just told, “if elected I'll make sure you get everything you deserve”. In the block where it asks what were the mitigating circumstances contributing to your disability they aptly write, "My CIC lacked leadership qualities."
So where can we find a true CIC? I don't know nor does the military for that matter. And to prove that point, all someone has to do is visit a large Army post and look at the statues of ‘Follow Me’ leaders. You'll see a soldier in combat gear looking over his shoulder with a raised rifle in one hand and the other hand pointing to the objective. Sounds inspiring but look closer and you'll notice there is no one behind that leader. What do they know that others don't?

Commander, Commanderess, doesn’t it matter.... If the tree falls in the forest and there’s no one playing follow the leader, who’s going to care. Hey, maybe beat the leader out of Iraq will take care of that issue.
Clay

But What About Me?

Question: In what year was the Presidential election decided by a best two out of three game of horseshoes because no one wanted to vote for any of the Candidates.

1. 2008
2. 2008
3. 2008
4. 2008

Factoid: The only control against non-citizens registering to vote is a required statement in the application form that the registrant is a U.S. citizen. Of course this application is printed in 17 languages. Go figure


What about me? I woke up this morning not looking forward to our Presidential elections. For decades I enjoyed listening to and trying to decide which candidate was going to be best for our country --which definitely included me. There were some great debates/platforms that I could ponder with relish. There were even times when I made up my own banner and stood along the highway letting people realize that even my one vote counted. Even in the worst of my own financial recession I could somehow manage to send, albeit it was a pittance, to my favorite candidate. But I can’t find a favorite candidate in any party this election cycle.

Me? Vote? No, I'm a Canadian. That was my response back in 2004 whenever anyone asked “did I vote in the general election.” It was almost true since Florida voters were so embarrassed and frustrated that some actually did move to Canada. Well they say time heals whatever it’s supposed to, but that's not true when it comes to voting in Florida. It is no surprise that when a survey was conducted a majority of the voters expressed their intentions not to vote in the Republican Primary on Jan 29th. So the powers to be had to come up with a solution. For the first time in Florida's history there will be an amendment added to the ballot that is a measure to cut property taxes! Yes that's true and all of a sudden a new survey shows an increase of over 20% beyond the 2000 and 2004 elections. Whoever came up with that idea, certainly deserves some kind of political medal. And maybe there should be other encouragements like an amendment to the Constitution that allows non-citizens to run for President. People who really care about the welfare of the United States. Arnold, Fidel, Hugo are just a few that come to mind. Or perhaps have one of the think-tanks rewrite and update the Constitution to keep up with our evolutionary My-Space, Your Face, My Face, media driven information centers. Of course we'd have to lower the voting age to 16 but if they're old enough to drive and drink they're old enough to vote. But after all we are a country of the people, by the people, except I keep asking "what people" and can't get a good answer from any candidate.

But back to my vote. I have found a candidate who’s my age but some think he’s to old (actually only one…Chuck Norris) and that irks me because I’m the candidate’s age and I certainly feel that I could be president. Oh yeah, Chucky made that comment right after finding out that he application for running was denied based on his height. Simply said he is too short to run because he would always be lost in a crowd or hidden behind a podium –that would certainly keep him from being able to join any debate. Just like in the Wizard of Oz, he’d have to be just a voice.

So what is the real reason Obama and Clinton are running in this race. Actually running away with the campaign leaving Edwards in the starting gate. But maybe like in the movies he just might blast out and win in the final stretch. (Yeah I know, unlikely, but I happen to like horse movies). Getting back to the real reason for O and C running I have but one simple question. Is it because they both want to be the first woman something.

I don’t think that’s enough reason for me to take them seriously especially when it comes to, how about me unless the first black man or first woman also becomes the first one to bring the price of oil down, create an equitable health care plan, realize that social security is important and possibly remember that there are many kids left behind. Just once I’d like to hear something like, we have to “walk softly and carry a big stick”. Thinking about that, if they were given big sticks they’d just battle it out on the debating platform. Although they could be given those little whips that jockey’s use. Small but effective except they do leave deep bruises.

No I haven’t forgotten about the old guy who is running in the other party. I could suggest that he no longer needs to be out there campaigning, he would serve our country better by entering a health spa and getting ready for the task ahead. Oops, did I reveal my projection on who I thought would win? Oh well, I guess I just couldn’t keep from blurting it out.

In simple terms I can only say this: When I enter the voting booth do I think to myself, “I want to be able to tell my grandchildren I voted for the first black president; the first woman, the elder statesman, or I voted for the best person to run our country.” But in truth I will really vote for the one who seems to care about me!
Clay

The First Black President

Question: Your spouse wants to help you with your Presidential campaign. Which of the following would you suggest they do:
a. Sit down and shut up
b. Help to raise funds and not ire
c. Stay home and make a nice dinner for the children.
d. Continue to persuade the Little Baby Jesus to support your spouse’s candidacy.
e. Make appearances which advocate a change—in clothing, hair do, surrogates.

Factoid: The Electoral College is the only accredited institution not to have any members and only grants one diploma every four years. Regardless if they have a passing grade or not.

What is Bill Clinton thinking. Or rather, maybe Bill Clinton needs to stop thinking about himself as the candidate, and start thinking about the effects his attacks on Obama are having on his reputation (I would have said legacy but we don’t really know what that is going to be), and Hillary’s campaign. The calls have been coming on the average of three an hour and they range from “I gave Hillary money but not I feel like a hypocrite because I think Bill is behaving so badly I’m not sure I wouldn’t rather support Obama or Edwards.” To, “It’s not that I’m against Hillary, it’s just that I am for real change and I like what Obama has to say”. To, “What are the Clinton people trying to do. We need to appear united on important issues like eradicating poverty and choice.”

Bill Clinton is the news. It is not because he, as a former President is supporting his wife in her effort to be he next Commander in Chief, it is because it appears he is running for a third term. There are people who think this is great. He was a wonderful President and he is the reason they are supporting her. But there are also those people who are supporting Hillary because they think she is capable of running the government without having to turn to Bill for advice or counsel or protection. There are those people who feel it diminishes his role as ex President to be name calling and messing with the facts.

Before the vote in New Hampshire, when most people thought she was going to lose (not this reporter), there was a sense that the ‘boys’ both media and opponents were piling on. Women hate that. We think it’s OK to lose a battle after a good fight, but we never think it’s OK to be dismissed or be denied an opportunity. It’s like when the "Washington Post" printed a story that the President Clinton’s international advisors considered Madeline Albright to be a second tier candidate for Secretary of State. It took about ten minutes and three phone calls to rally all the women’s organizations (conservative and progressive) to lobby the White House and insist they consider her in serious contention for that Post. And voila, she was named Secretary of State. Women's groups did thie same thing when Chris Matthews appeared to be unfair to Hillary during the New Hampshire Primary, and eventually, because of the women’s lobby, he apologized. Although, I think dismissing someone over their job qualifications and insisting someone not be allowed to say what they think, is really two different things. Chris is entitled to his opinion and didn’t need to do more then say, “I may have stepped over the line, but it’s what I think – and last time I read the Constitution there was still freedom to speak my own thoughts.” My point is, (and yes I have one), once women get organized over some kind of slight, they can become a powerful force. So what happens when the woman appears to send her husband out to do the dirty job of denigrating her opponent or opponents? I guess we’ll see what the results are in South Carolina. Hillary isn’t there until next Thursday, but Bill, (the first Black President) is out there working his constituency, with Chelsea –I guess the first Black child.

What do we think is going to happen in South Carolina and in Florida in both the Democratic and Republican races. Guiliani is betting everything that he will win in Florida, because, as I have often heard him say, there are a lot of New Yorkers in Florida. But from everything I have heard (and I am a part time New Yorker), no one in New York likes him. They hated him before 9-11. They liked him for 10 minutes after 9-11. They hate that he has used 9-11 as a personal tool. They have learned a little too much about his business practices and his ‘old boy’ network to trust him, and even his children don’t like his wife. McCain, won in South Carolina, Huckabee country, and Mitt went directly to Nevada—where he had a victory... no surprise he looks like he belongs there. McCain might win in Florida, but Mitt has a much nicer tan. And speaking of tans, because that along with Disney appeal, is no small issue in the sun state (or is that New Mexico). Guiliani looks like he’s been sitting under a sun lamp with bad sunglasses. He has big white circles under his eyes – not so chic. I don’t think McCain has ever been out in the sun and Huckabee really doesn’t matter because he has no money. So where are we? Oh yes, Obama might win in South Carolina but he probably doesn’t have as many friends in Florida because they are all from New York and Hillary is the Senator from that state. Edwards needs to mess up his hair or he won’t win anyplace where hair styling is not the priority. Isn’t this confusing. The good news is that no one knows who will win or where. The bad news is, that if Bill Clinton doesn’t stop this nonsense he will be responsible for Hillary’s defeat in many states as well as a continued unnecessary ugly Primary contest.
Iris

Inaugurating the Inaugurals

On the occasion of the anniversary of the 1993 inaugural—give or take a day, we are relaunching the “So Think you Can Be President” website to include a blog. We hope each blog will provoke some controversy or, at the very least a few snickers and hopefully a couple of hearty laughs. We will, like most pundits, make predictions. And like most pundits we will probably be wrong – but isn’t that part of the fun. In addition, the blog will include timely questions such as:

You really want to win each primary contest. What do you think is the best way to do that? Choose from the following:
a. Assure the electorate that the little Baby Jesus has given you his endorsement
b. Assure the electorate that the little Baby Jesus will stay out of the campaign.
c. Make sure the little Baby Jesus you’re talking about is not an immigrant baby from Mexico.
d. Ask your spouse to take an active, vocal, even lethal, role by attacking your competition’s past record.
e. Make sure your spouse doesn’t have an active, vocal, lethal, past.
f. Send your spouse out to fund raise and avoid any hint of the public thinking, “sit down and shut up.”

Additionally, we will collect and include contemporary definitions of political terms such as this one anonymously distributed through e-mail:
Electile Dysfunction: the inability to become aroused over any of the choices for President put forth by either party in the 2008 election year.

Excited? Great, now on to the new-sy blog. But first a story. We will tell old political insider stories because this is a venue where people might enjoy them —rather than run screaming from the room.

On January of 1992, when most of the political elite (that’s Senior staff who, having won the election, finally felt powerful), were getting ready for the big inaugural parties, I still had other responsibilities. They both involved children. The first was walking in the inaugural parade, not as a participant, but as a mother watching to make sure my six year old (who was supposed to be nine), did not fall off the Raffi float. In 1992 Raffi, was the premiere children’s musical folk singer, you may remember he sang “Baby Beluga” and “Sun Sun Mr. Golden Sun Please Shine Down on Me”. (Don’t start to hum it because it will stay with you for 24 hours.) It was a cold day and the Raffi float was pretty near the end of the parade. While riding on a float might look glamorous, I can promise you, it is not. Sure the kids were excited and Jordan (my daughter) bonded with Raffi –to the point where a few months later when Raffi had an environmental meeting with Tipper Gore, he invited Jordan (then seven) to accompany him.

Anyway, we were in a confined area for five hours and there were no bathrooms. So despite the fact that the kids were freezing and hungry – we could not allow them to drink anything and besides, none of the parade organizers thought about feeding anyone. At the end of the parade, I grabbed Jordan wrapped her in a blanket and delivered the little ice cube home, chilled and happy. Since I had walked along side the float there was no need to listen to all the things that had happened to her (Raffi held her hand. people waved just to her), because I had to leave for the White House. Wow, the White house on Inaugural eve you are probably thinking. Not so fast!

For whatever reason, and the details of this are much too boring, while my friends were readying themselves for an Inaugural ball, I was at the White House packing goodie bags for Chelsea Clinton and her friends. And, the stuff inside the goodie bags did not magically appear. I had to ferry around Washington from store to store convincing shop owners that it was worth their while to donate things like kids make-up, games, films, candy, whatever it was that I thought a bunch of 13 year olds might like. I packed the bags, made sure the refreshments for the movie theater (yes, there is a movie theater in the White House), were in order and even did the decorations. All of this, I might add was a thankless job – 13 year olds are not big on thanks. I waited, as I had promised, for the kids to return until about 1:00am. But as was the case with some Clinton's, they were late, so I left.

Which brings us to years later when David, my husband and an excellent photojournalist, was covering Hillary and Chelsea was with the campaign. David introduced himself to Chelsea by saying that his wife had packed goodie bags for her and friends in 1992. Chelsea merely responded by saying that she didn’t talk to the press. I guess she was just doing as instructed but since I did work for the Clintons for years, and have known them since 1972, I thought that, as a very smart young woman, she might have used better judgment. She also denied a conversation to a nine year old reporter—so David was in good company.

Having worked with many family surrogates over the years I have pretty strong feelings about what kind of responsibilities family members should have during a campaign. And my feeling has always been, don’t put any family member (no matter the age) in a place where they are even the least bit uncomfortable. And in conclusion, Mitt Romney will be the Republican nominee.
Iris